Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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