i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
