Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
