We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
