so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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