You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
