the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
