I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize