I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
