I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
