i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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