I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
