There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
