Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
