so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
