he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
