He is such a slut. More and more my type.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize