I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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