Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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