And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
