Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
