She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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