I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize