In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
