He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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