i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
