hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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