My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize