There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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