I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I supernannyed him into submission
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize