pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
