I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
