I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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