He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
