whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
