Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
