I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
