she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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