so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
