So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
