His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
