I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I looked at my own cervix.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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