i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so let's talk penis.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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