You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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