dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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