you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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