You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
40s are totally the cure
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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