She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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