she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just want to make out with him forever
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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