and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I will be naked everywhere
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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