worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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