My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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