Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
