Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
