Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
