You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I pour the whiskey from now on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
