i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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