Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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