Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My balls are so social today.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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