Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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